I wanted to be able to say, “I’m doing so much better than the last time that you saw me.
I go to sleep by ten. Something later on the weekend.
And I feel so connected to everything and everyone, it’s exhilarating.”
But that would be a lie.
I’m doing a little better but I’m not that guy.
It’s tough being around you because you knew me back when.
Back when I was funnier and brighter not just bummed out and tired.
These expectations are killing me.
Like i’m supposed to be someone I wish I could be.
I’m not quite better but I’m getting there. I’m not quite better yet.
And in a quiet moment I find I kind of like myself.
Then some days the anger returns and I have to find a reason to smile.
Because you’re only as stable as your last breakdown.
And I don’t think I’m able to understand the world right now.
credits
from Deals, Deals, Deals!,
released June 7, 2019
Lyrics by Diego medrano
Music by Ramona
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